Sometimes we get in a tizz with other people, don’t we? People we live with or work with, maybe.
At the Lightning Process conference last week I was reminded about the Parent Adult Child (PAC) model. It comes from Transactional Analysis and is a useful way of understanding and reflecting on our own and others’ behaviour.
When we interact with others we may come from any one of these positions.
When we come from ‘Parent’ we may be nurturing, which covers the more helpful aspects of how a parent may behave, or we may be more critical, authoritarian, bossy – more ‘do as I say’
When we come from ‘Child’ we may be more playful, excited and engaged or we may be more ‘childish’ in the way we respond to something……having tantrums, feeling stupid, not good enough, unable to express ourselves in an adult way.
When we come from the ‘Adult’ position we are more likely to be able to listen, step back from a situation, take time to think, and to avoid escalating conflict.
So, have a think about which position you are coming from in your dealings with the people around you. If you’re anything like me, you may not manage to be in ‘Adult’ all the time, but you’ll certainly be doing your best to go in that direction. What difference will it make to your interactions when you can remain more in the ‘Adult’ position, I wonder? It could be helpful.
